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Idaho
Idaho is one of America's most noble states. It is believed to reside between Idaho's Portugal and Montana. Growing at an alarming rate since the construction of its first town, a cowboy brothel, it is now the most densely populated state in the Western Hemisphere. Most famously known for its giant potato crops, Idaho has used this to its advantage, placing both surveillance gear in the unlikely tubers as well as mind controlling agents to ward off suspicion The Idaho Potato The average Idaho potato ranges in size from 8 - 32 inches in diameter and is known to contain an acid-filled nucleus. The size of the Idaho potato compared to an average potato is so great a difference because of the fact that early Idahoans pleasured themselves with the spuds. This created humanoid potato offspring that are both intelligent and bloodthirsty. Idaho has the most potatoes in the USA, despite the fact that New Jersey looks the most like a potato. Idaho Politics Contrary to common belief, the Ku Klux Klan does not even exist in Idaho, as Idahoan believes such behavior is strictly limited to the lesser, Southern states, including Texas. Idaho remains to this day, thanks to its ever-increasing size, the largest state in the continental United States. Approximately 42% of Idaho's population consists of Mormons. They are believed to have imigrated from Utah, for obvious reasons, between the years of 1840 and 1923. Since then, thanks to their breeding habits, they have become a force to be reckoned with in Idaho. Stephen Colbert and Idaho Early Idahoans faced numerous problems with the areas indigenous Great North Mountain Bear population. In combination with the wild potato species, the threat was too great for any one person to overcome. Luckily though, such a person existed in Dr. Stephen Tyrone Colbert DFA. Around 1794, an early incarnation of Stephen Colbert arrived in Idaho on a safari expedition seeking the Great North Mountain Bear. In an act of sheer cleverness and ingenuitude, he constructed a KAPC (Kick-Ass Potato Cannon). Using the wild potatoes as ammunition, Stephen Colbert proceeded to entirely eradicate the Great North Mountain Bear population over the course of 1 1/4 hours, stopping halfways to make and eat his famous potato soup. Stephen Colbert then built a mansion from the millions of bear pelts, the mansion he later abandoned because the upkeep was too much of a hassle. Today, Idahoans farm the potato in honor of Stephen Colbert's feats. They keep a ready supply on hand in case the Great North Mountain Bear population has a recurrence and once again wreaks havoc on the state. Idaho Landmarks * Coeur d'Alene * Ririe - The official middle of nowhere * The Twin Falls * Idaho Falls * Sweet Potatoes * Boise * Wallace - Where time old miners drank their paychecks a hundred years or so ago. Famous Ida-Hos * Lou Dobbs, just about the only thing famous to come from Idaho besides say, the world's biggest potato * William Edgar Borah, one of the heroes responsible for defeating the Treaty of Versailles in the Senate, dooming the League of Nations, and causing WWII. * Larry Craig, the senator famous for being not gay and not soliciting sex in bathrooms. A Typical Day in Idaho A typical day in Idaho includes any of the following: * Planting potatoes * Growing potatoes * Harvesting potatoes * Eating potatoes * Going to the rodeo * Going to Utah * Going to Utah to ski simply to mock those who think Utah snow is better * Going to Utah to marry multiple wives * Ridiculing anybody that currently or wishes to reside in Utah * Having 115 degree weather * Being snowed on * Being snowed on in the morning and having 115 degree weather in the afternoon * Joining the Aryan Nation * Protesting the Aryan Nation * Joining the KKK * Mocking the KKK * Joining the Neo-Nazis * Forcing the Neo-Nazis to watch The Colbert Report (so they can learn how to not see race) * Joining the Republican Party * Worshipping Stephen Colbert * Excitedly awaiting layovers in Midwest airports just for the great shopping External Tubes Charitable Organizations in